There's something that has always puzzled me about human nature. It's the phenomenon of cognitive dissonance. Why do we so often choose to believe things that we know aren't true? Why do we ignore evidence that contradicts our beliefs?

It's as if our brains are hardwired to protect our egos. We're determined to believe what we want to believe, even if it means disregarding reality.

I've always been fascinated by this phenomenon, and I decided to study it in depth. it turns out that cognitive dissonance is incredibly powerful. It can override our rational thoughts, and cause us to act in ways that are completely illogical.

So what is cognitive dissonance?

It's basically the tension that we feel when we hold two contradictory beliefs at the same time. In more scientific terms, cognitive dissonance is a psychological phenomenon that describes the discomfort that we feel when two of our thoughts or beliefs are in conflict. Here are some examples of this phenomenon:

• If you believe that smoking is bad for your health, but you can't seem to quit, you're experiencing cognitive dissonance.

• If you believe that you are a kind and caring person, but you also behave in a way that is unkind and uncaring, cognitive dissonance would occur. This can lead to feelings of anxiety and conflict.

• If you believe that your partner is cheating on you, but they insist they're not, you'll likely experience cognitive dissonance. This can lead to a lot of tension and conflict in the relationship.

This feeling of tension is uncomfortable, so our brains try to reduce it. One way that we do this is by justifying our beliefs. When we do something that goes against our beliefs or values, we often justify our behavior by coming up with reasons why it was actually the right thing to do. For example, if you eat unhealthy food even though you know that it’s not good for you, you might tell yourself that it was worth it because you needed the energy to study for an upcoming exam. This is a way of reducing the anxiety and conflict that cognitive dissonance can cause.

In order to reduce the effects of cognitive dissonance in your life, it is important to be curious about your thoughts and beliefs.

In Brene Brown's book (2021), Atlas of the Heart, she says the following,

"In these challenging moments of dissonance, we need to stay curious and resist choosing comfort over courage. It's brave to invite new information to the table, to sit with it and hear it out. It's also rare these days" (p. 83).

When you are curious about why you think or believe something, it becomes easier to question those thoughts and beliefs. For example, if you are curious about why you always seem to choose unhealthy foods, you might start to ask yourself whether there is a reason why you find unhealthy foods appealing. By being curious about your thoughts and beliefs, you will be less likely to hold onto them blindly and will be more open to changing them if necessary.

Reducing the effects of cognitive dissonance can lead to a more peaceful and anxiety-free life. By being aware of the phenomenon and its causes, you can start to take steps to reduce its impact on your life. By being curious about your thoughts and beliefs, you can start to question them, which will lead to less conflict and anxiety in your life.

So how can we reduce cognitive dissonance in our lives? Here are a few tips:

(Download a worksheet to guide you through this if you prefer)

• Be curious. When you're curious about something, it's easier to question your beliefs. If you're interested in why someone believes something, you're more likely to be open-minded about it. Ask yourself when you feel the tension:

  • What's the story I'm telling myself?

  • What's my body trying to tell me?

• Challenge your beliefs. It can be difficult to change our beliefs, but it's important to challenge them from time to time. If you're not sure about something, ask yourself why you believe it. Ask yourself:

  • Are my beliefs based on a feeling, fact, or assumption?

• Be open to new information. Our beliefs are often based on outdated information. If you're open to learning new things, you'll be less likely to hold onto beliefs that aren't true. Ask yourself:

  • Are there any other explanations that make more sense?

  • Are my thoughts based on something black and white or is reality a bit more complicated?

  • What would a close friend/mentor tell me about this?

What are some other ways that people reduce the effects of cognitive dissonance in their lives? Share your thoughts in our chat group!

Video Reference:

Luttrell, A. (2016). Cognitive Dissonance Theory: A Crash Course. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y17YaZRRvY.