4 Steps to Dealing with Anxiety & Stress (Taking Control of Your Thoughts #1)

Our brains are designed to look for danger, things out of place, and things that are wrong. It is how we have survived for centuries.

The brain is just doing what it is designed to do when it warns us of impending danger. That warning is to influence us to move towards safety. I read a book years ago called The Gift of Fear, which demonstrates the power anxiety has to keep us safe.

Now... if you are anything like me, your brain has this “DANGER” zone for things like being late, juggling too many things in our heads, forgetting things, criticizing all the things we do wrong at any given moment. Sound familiar?

Our brains are doing their basic function, which is to look for threats, but that does not mean it feels good all the time or that it’s healthy. Sometimes we do get stuck in cyclical thoughts that spiral downward fast, race ahead, or get stuck.

Our brains these days are attuning to things that may not be as life-threatening as the physical response we experience. We could experience an anxiety response from a high workload, feeling overwhelmed, driving, talking to people, or a thousand other things, because our brain has begun to see different things like these as a threat to our health.

Are those things a threat? I believe they can be if we don’t acknowledge and process what we are feeling. It’s our body’s way of saying, “whoa… slow down here.” In a culture that sees burnout and overwhelm as a status symbol, we often fight against what our body is trying to tell us (doesn’t it know we NEED to do all the things? How rude). It becomes a threat because our trust in ourselves begins to erode.

If you were to picture anxiety as a character, what would it look like? Sound like?

Mine looked something like this.

Now… let me ask you. Would you trust this character to make a life-saving decision? Yeah, it was a no for me too.

4 Steps to Taking Control of Your Thoughts & Decrease Stress

Step 1: Notice

• What sensations do you notice in your body? Is there any part that is tense/sore/wobbly?

• Do you have more cravings/urges than usual?

• Has your routine changed?

Step 2: Acknowledge

• If your feeling were to have a name, what would it be?

• What would that feeling sound like? Is it harsh? Critical? Kind?

Step 3: Observe & Witness

• Imagine that you are an observer to this feeling; just noticing it, acknowledging it, without trying to fix it.

• Imagine the feeling is a wave in the ocean that rises and falls.

Step 4: Practice Self-Compassion & Deescalate Intense Emotions

• Imagine a good friend was feeling something similar to you. How would you care for them or nurture them?

• How can you show that same level of care or nurturing to yourself?

• If you need to, deescalate your emotions by:

  • Breathing deeply, with intention (imagine you are blowing a big bubble or inhaling the smell of a hot chocolate and slowly blowing on it to cool it down)

  • Using your senses: touch something soft, give someone a hug, pet an animal, listen to relaxing music, eat something cold or flavourful, smell a flower or candle, notice your environment around you.

  • Expressing affection to someone in your life.

  • Spending time with an animal

  • Cooling down by taking cold shower, cold cloth to the back of your neck or T-zone or warming up by taking a hot shower, drinking something hot, getting cozy in a blanket. With this, generally go towards the opposite to what your body feels (i.e. if you are hot, cool down).

  • Intense exercise that is within your level of safety.

  • Sharing a meal with someone.

  • Helping someone/contribute somewhere.

Conclusion

There is hope...our brains can be trained to heal from thought habits that are unhealthy or hurtful to us. Our brains have neuroplasticity, which means they can reorganize to adapt and adjust to life's circumstances, change habits, and adapt thoughts.  The more you practice these steps, the easier it will become.

Here’s what Anxiety looks like to me now as a result of this journey.

She is strong, capable, intelligent, wise, just, and will save my life if danger, real life-threatening danger, comes my way.

Stay tuned to next week to look at how our thoughts can be a simple and quick way to begin to journey towards a peaceful, yet passionate and purpose-filled life.

Hi, I’m Sharla.

I’m a Registered Social Worker who specializes in working with women to heal anxiety and all the fun it brings to the party, ADHD struggles, disordered eating, shame, and trauma.

I founded Bloom Narratives, a private practice that provides holistic wellness services.

Why? So you can be a game changer in your life. Because healing people heal people.