Letting Down the Load and Other Cry-Worthy Moments from Disney’s Encanto!
Last week, I had no fewer than four recommendations to watch Disney’s new Encanto movie.
So to each of you, thanks… I blubbered into my tissues the whole movie. The three times I have seen it… But I see why it touched your heart. I see also why it’s soundtrack has topped the charts this week of the Billboard 100. The story has started something.
My sister was telling me about a conversation she had with her son who asked her who the villain was in the movie. She told him about how villains in some of the newer movies aren’t like the traditional ‘bad guys’ in older movies like the ones we grew up to. She told him that the movies talk about the mindsets that lead to conflict or challenges that the main character faces. So…. great job Ash at so eloquently summing up why these movies are hitting us adults so hard. I don’t think I have had a dry eye for many that have come out recently.
Because they are. Hitting a lot of adults hard because the themes talk a lot about the struggles we are going through in such a gentle way. Soul, Inside Out, Moana, Encanto, Luca… they talk about mindsets, grief, change, emotions, relationships, and how they are all interconnected.
I had one client recently who had her entire perspective about life and mindfulness shift when she started to “see things through 22’s eyes” (Soul). I had another tell me about the grief she felt as she connected with the main character in Encanto being misunderstood by those she loves most. I myself felt pushed when I faced my fears of the unknown and left agency work (thanks Frozen 2…). I could go on, but I believe these movies can move us in ways we didn’t expect. And can we talk about Lin Manuel-Miranda’s music? Genius.
The narrative in Encanto echoes ‘let down your load’ when the burden gets too heavy. It talks about how just because you can, doesn’t mean you must all the time. It talks about how perceptions of perfection can be the crack in relationships, personal narratives, and actions. And can we talk about the message about being more than your gift?
Actually… take a listen to this beauty:
So let’s talk about these themes and messages. How they relate so often the thoughts and feelings we have when we feel such stress, overwhelm, anxiety, and low self worth. Fun topic hey?! Here… it’s slightly easier listening to in song form.
You reeady to Bloom yet? (I’m sorry… I cant help the corny sayings #notsorry). Yeah, we’ve come this far!
First of all, if you are reading this, think about the different hats or responsibilities you feel. If you were to name them, what are they? Mine include: mother, partner, daughter, sister, friend, entrepreneur, game-changer, mentor, leader, storyteller, community member, social worker, and the list goes on…but those are my top ones. Sweet one, believe it. My brain is full A LOT of the time. It used to be so bad though, that I would almost feel cracking inside regularly unless Perfection was on the outside holding up the armor. So basically, about a decade ago, I was a bit of a mess. I’d say I felt like Luisa from Encanto a lot of the time, yet desired to be like Isabella, which as we see… (and I’m sure you can relate to some extent) it didn’t go so well. Now? Now, if I continue with the movie character comparison, I see some similarities to Mirabel at the end of the movie. Brene Brown’s Power of Vulnerability, no joke, changed my life, in addition to the spiritual journey I was on years ago. The evolution of that learning is that I try to do what I can to help others explore and find grace for themselves. I do this now by just being who I inherently am (read, imperfect), and creating/holding space to nurture people to allow themselves to be nurtured, accepted, and celebrated.
When having these radical conversations, I often get asked “what’s the secret?” or “What am I missing?” or even more so I hear, “What’s wrong with me?”
Here’s my answer.
#1. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not the problem, the problem is the problem.
#2. What if you weren’t missing anything? What if you were whole? Nothing missing? Nothing broken? What if the answer, this whole time, was you?
#3. The secret is finding a safe space to allow yourself to experiment dropping the facade in order so you can be seen, nurtured, celebrated, and supported. Maybe your support networks include a person/people and space that is safe, and maybe they are just waiting for you to reach out. Maybe your spiritual life can support this transformation. Maybe, you need a dedicated space like counselling to safely explore this with someone who can teach you how to explore the stories, feelings, and thoughts. I know I needed it.
A lot of the people I work with ‘test’ taking off the load in sessions with me, to experiment with it, see what it feels like because it’s a safe space and a strong working alliance. Safety is the most important aspect of this answer. If you are not feeling safe, this is the sign you have been looking for. Reach out for support either with your healthcare practitioner, therapist, or a local distress centre. If you are in Canada, we have a counsellor who can support you virtually, and if you are local to Alberta, we have counsellors who can support you too.
I want you to know that the loads I see people carry are heavy.
Your load might be heavy too.
It might look comparable to an internet browser with 30 tabs open that are all deemed equally important. I see the masks people wear that cover the overwhelm and stress, because of their belief that they need to be helpers to everyone, always. I see how identities are shaped into the ‘helper’ role people have in their lives, and how trauma, oppression, familial expectations, personal ambition, independence, societal expectation, and cultural expectations have all influenced the stories people tell themselves about being a helper. I see how hard it is for people to ‘take a step back and observe’ or ‘just saying no and set a boundary’ is on their health. Can those things be helpful? Yeah, they sure can.
But I’m not going to tell you to take a step back, observe, or just say no and set a boundary. Nu-uh. Another thing people I work with have in common? A strong will and desire to do what is necessary (and a strong ability to resist when people try to control them). No, I find the message heard when people tell others to stake a step back, observe, or say no and set boundaries, is one of more work and effort, accompanied by a big sigh.
If this is you, I’m just here to say I see you. I see how hard the demands are on your body, soul, and mind. You aren’t alone. You are more than the service to give to the people and communities around you. You are worthy of rest.
Using the awe and wonder I found through Encanto, I leave you today with this:
“Lay down your load (lay down your load)
We are only down the road (we are only down the road)
We have no gifts, but we are many
And we’ll do anything for you
It’s a dream when we work as a team (all of you, all of you)
You’re so strong
Yeah, but sometimes I cry (all of you, all of you)
So do I
I may not be as strong, but I’m getting wiser
Yeah, I need sunlight and fertilizer
C’mon, let’s plan something new and watch it fly
Straight up to the sky, let’s go.”
Hi, I’m Sharla
I’m a Registered Social Worker who specializes in working with women to heal anxiety and all the fun it brings to the party, ADHD superpowers, disordered eating, shame, and trauma.
I founded Bloom Narratives, a private practice that provides holistic wellness services.
Why? So you can be a game-changer in your life. Because healing people heal people.